


I Bet Dracula Never Had To Deal With This Sh*t

by Lacrimula_Falsa



Series: Tony Stark Bingo 2020 (TSB Round Three) [3]
Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Tony Stark Bingo 2020, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:15:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26743489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lacrimula_Falsa/pseuds/Lacrimula_Falsa
Summary: The troubles of a freshly turned vampire. [Tony/Stephen, AU, complete.]
Relationships: Tony Stark/Stephen Strange
Series: Tony Stark Bingo 2020 (TSB Round Three) [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1599076
Comments: 4
Kudos: 39
Collections: Tony Stark Bingo 2020





	I Bet Dracula Never Had To Deal With This Sh*t

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** I do not own any part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, nor any other Marvel franchise. This is a non-profit work produced solely for entertainment purposes.
> 
> Set in the same verse as my fic “Stark’s Law” [/works/20883530]. More vampire slice-of-life fic, yay!
> 
> This fic was written for round three of Tony Stark Bingo, an awesome event you can find at tonystarkbingo DOT tumblr DOT com (just fill in the dots and remove the spaces). Like almost all my fills for round three, it is _extremely incredibly_ late, because I had technical problems right out of a screwball comedy. A huge thank you to the TSB mods for their patience and understanding.
> 
> \- - - - - - - -  
> Title: I Bet Dracula Never Had To Deal With This Sh*t  
> by Lacrimula Falsa  
> Card Number: 3108  
> Link: tba  
> Square Filled: T2 - Domesticity  
> Ship/Main Pairing: Tony Stark/Stephen Strange  
> Rating: T  
> Major Tags: vampirism, humour, fluff  
> Summary: The troubles of a freshly turned vampire.  
> Word Count: ca. 345 words  
> \- - - - - - - -

"And what are you frowning about on this beautiful morning."

"I cah vruh me fan-"

Stephen rolled his eyes at himself and took the toothbrush out of his mouth.

"I can't brush my damned fangs. They keep sliding back into my gums. You'd think that a vampire could control their teeth but  _ no _ . It's like these things have a mind of their own!" 

Tony snorted.

"Well you can't control your dick either and you manage just fine with that."

Stephen made the most hilarious disgusted face.

"There aren't  _ words _ to describe how little I appreciate that comparison."

"It's apt though. From what I've noticed, your fangs come out when you're either annoyed or turned on, which sometimes is the same thing."

Stephen's annoyed expression intensified.

"That's not-"

"There! They're doing it right now!"

Stephen put a hand to his mouth and promptly stuck himself on his fangs.

"Ow!"

He glared at Tony as if that was somehow his fault but said

"Well, point taken. I'll still have to figure something out because if you annoy me every morning I'm going to go for your throat for entirely vampire-unrelated reasons eventually."

"Don't your magic books have any information on this?"

Stephen sighed.

"Sadly not. These books are more concerned with vampire extermination than with anything I'd find helpful."

"Ouch. I can't believe I'm suggesting this, but have you tried the internet?"

"Oh don't get me started. A bunch of weird people who think they're vampires, a  _ lot _ of Twilight content and some  _ very _ disturbing forum posts but not a scrap of helpful information to be found."

Tony blinked at Stephen for a long moment.

"You're really grasping at straws, huh?"

"Well yes! I still can't even set foot into the Sanctum, which ironically is where most of the books that might actually be helpful are, and every day – or night – I find some other vampire trait that none of the books I looked at even  _ mention _ ."

"Do you want a hug, maybe?"

"You know what, yes. But let me try and finish brushing my teeth first."


End file.
